We want to belong and feel connected to others in meaningful ways. Creating a community around mindfulness practice helps us connect with each other with sincerity and authenticity. A community of practitioners involves a natural process and an intentional one. We are naturally drawn to the dharma, to teachings that free us from suffering and increase peace in the world. Becoming a community of spiritual friends, or kalyanamitras, may take some effort and intentionality.
A kalyanamitra is a friend who supports our development, who tells us the truth when we need to hear it. A kalyanamitra stands by us and helps us when we need help. What does it take to create a community of like-minded practitioners, kalyanamitras, or spiritual friends?
We need to develop both individually and collectively. Individually, we develop in mindfulness by practicing and inquiring into our practice; collectively we express loving kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity toward each other. The combination of individual and collective practice helps to create a community of kalyanamitras.
Some of the Buddha’s teachings point to the need for right understanding to help us create a healthy community. Right understanding includes things like:
- Knowing our actions matter, and acting like what we do makes a difference
- Remembering that what goes around comes around; there is such a thing as karma (kamma)
- Being able to discern wholesome action from unwholesome action and acting based on this discernment. The 5 precepts provide one model of ethical behavior.
- Understanding that the way we talk to each other really matters and being kind and thoughtful about what we say
- Building the capacity to work through conflict peacefully
There are two important teachings that help us think about community. For the individual: the Four Foundations of Mindfulness help each of us develop inner wisdom and kindness. For bringing compassion to others: Loving kindness practice, or the Brahma-Viharas, help us to understand and be kind to others. The Brahma-Viharas, or heavenly abodes are expressions of loving kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity.
Both of these teachings require patience, effort, and perseverance. And, community.
On Monday, September 11, we will talk about creating community, and we will share stories of our experiences of community in a process of inquiry called Appreciative Inquiry. Sharing stories helps us understand and have compassion for one another.
Learning and practicing mindfulness and inquiry together can help us create a community that supports ourselves and others with kindness, compassion, and wisdom.